The COVID-19 pandemic has had a profound impact on people's lives across the globe. Beyond the immediate health concerns, the pandemic has brought about significant challenges to individuals' wellbeing, affecting mental, emotional, and social aspects of our lives. In the aftermath of the pandemic, what surfaced was the need to develop critical social and emotional skills that enable our children to cope with anxiety or worry.
We know that our children’s response to a community-wide traumatic event is determined by various factors, including their cognitive understanding, the reactions of family members, and their personality and coping mechanisms (their resilience).1
Resilience has also been shown to be enhanced by good relationships with caregivers, social support, positive relationships with teachers, academic engagement, community cohesion and links with cultural identity.2
Building resilience, developing emotional literacy and self regulation skills in our children is just as much about developing these skills in ourselves and prioritising them in our communities.
Modelling Healthy Coping Strategies
The first step in teaching children how to respond to challenging situations is to show them how to handle challenges in a constructive way. There is significant evidence to suggest that emotional awareness and self regulation play a critical role in helping young people with anxiety. So how can we show children how to respond to these emotions in a healthy way?
Children often learn by example, so when dealing with your own stress, model appropriate coping strategies by practicing self-reflection and self-regulation. So, how are YOU? How do you currently deal with worries and uncertainty? If you haven’t already, now is the time to pause and ask yourself how you’re really coping.
Create a routine
Self awareness is the starting point to this. Self-awareness is critical to wellbeing because it provides the foundation for understanding and managing your emotions, making informed decisions, building healthy relationships, and promoting personal growth. It allows you to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and authenticity, ultimately leading to a higher quality of life and enhanced overall wellbeing.
One way to begin to do this is by creating a routine where your children do regular emotion check-ins. This will not only establish a supportive and open environment where children feel comfortable discussing their feelings, yet it will also support normalising emotions and help children feel safe expressing how they feel. This, in turn, contributes to their emotional wellbeing.
Acknowledgement
When it comes to anxiety and our children, it can manifest in different ways. When helping our children (or anyone) deal with anxiety it is important to observe and listen to them, being present and attentive.
When children know that their emotions are valid and accepted, they are more likely to develop healthy emotional regulation skills.
Encouraging open discussions about emotions reduces the stigma surrounding mental health issues. It sends the message that experiencing a range of emotions is a normal part of being human, rather than something to be ashamed of or hide. Sharing emotions also helps children become more emotionally aware. It allows them to recognise and label their feelings accurately, which is a fundamental skill for managing emotions effectively.
Practising non-judgmental, generous listening is the key for the child to feel validated and seen, the essential foundation to being able to connect and help. Active and reflective listening is a skill that can be learned by anyone. Here is a link to a mindful listening activity that can help improve communication.
Normalising Emotions
Normalising emotions is a key component of social and emotional learning. SEL teaches children valuable skills such as empathy, self-awareness, and relationship-building, which are crucial for success in life. Encouraging the expression of emotions can help prevent emotional outbursts or disruptive behaviour. When children have opportunities to discuss their feelings, they are less likely to act out due to frustration, anxiety, or unresolved emotions.
Encourage Critical Thinking
In helping children cope with anxiety it is often useful to move away from reassurance and into problem solving. Whilst we can help them with perspectives, we want to encourage our children to come up with their own solutions as much as possible. This gives them the opportunity to develop self efficacy and confidence that they can handle things in the future - such an important skill in today's world. After validating what their thoughts and feelings are about the problem, ask them what possible solutions they can envisage and encourage them to take action where possible.
Foster Adaptability
Change is an unavoidable part of life, and learning to cope with change is a vital skill that children can develop to help manage feelings of worry in times of uncertainty. Teach children that change is a natural part of life, and can offer them new opportunities to grow. By developing the skills to adapt quickly when something unexpected occurs children are more likely to bounce back when faced with a challenge.
Conclusion
Nurturing resilience in children is a critical endeavour. By promoting emotional intelligence, self-care, and effective coping strategies, we can empower the younger generation to thrive even in the face of adversity. Educators and caregivers have the opportunity to make a profound impact on children's wellbeing by providing support, guidance, and valuable resources.
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1 Shaw JA, Espinel Z, Shultz, JM. Children: Stress, trauma and disaster. Tampa, FL: Disaster Life Support Publishing, 2007, as cited in Parsons J. 2 Gartland D, Riggs E, Muyeen S, et al. What factors are associated with resilient outcomes in children exposed to social adversity? A systematic review. BMJ Open 2019;9(4):e024870.
Photo by Myles Tan on Unsplash
