When we are nurturing students to think about the future it is tempting to jump to the extremes of the spectrum. For example, when we are talking to kids about their future prospects we swing to the optimistic extreme and say things like ‘You can be whatever you want to be!’, ‘Dream big’ and ‘The world is your oyster.’ Yet when we are talking to kids about potential risks we err on the side of extreme pessimism, for example; ‘You can’t walk to school alone or you might be kidnapped’.

There are valid reasons for these approaches and the younger the child, the higher the modality of the pessimism or optimism. As students mature and develop a strengthened understanding of the world around them, they benefit from developing a more realistic sense of pessimism and optimism.

Typically, around 14-16 years of age* we see more risk-taking behaviour due to a disbelief in the level of risk they have encountered up until this point. Many of the risks they have been told about have not come to fruition and their experience suggests that the risks are not real and therefore they discount the risk in its entirety. They are no longer scared to walk to school because of the risk of kidnapping and this extends to thinking that all risk is reduced and an attitude of ‘I no longer need to wear a seatbelt.

At the same age on the other end of the spectrum, we see increasing levels of mental health as they come to terms with a more realistic view of their future. The realisation that I can’t necessarily ‘be whatever I want to be’ can push some people to think that if they can’t do the amazing thing that they dreamed of doing then they can’t do anything.

The key takeaway here is that there is absolutely a time and place for promoting a pessimistic outlook to raise awareness to reduce risk, and there is absolutely a place for promoting big dreams and self-belief, but as students expand their awareness of the world around them we need to meet them where they are at and support them to find realistic optimism.

There is not a silver bullet to support this but rather a series of steps that we can support students find their way through. It begins with supporting students at an early age to recognise their emotions and separate them from actions. For example, it is ok to feel angry, but it is not ok to use that anger to justify a behaviour e.g. ‘I pushed him because I was angry’. The earlier students become conscious of regulating their emotions, the more practice they get before they reach adolescence when risk taking behaviours typically become more pronounced and consequential. It progresses to giving students enough space to take risks, obviously ensuring safety. It is important for students to push the boundaries of their understanding of how the world works but it is equally important that they are exposed to the consequences of their choices. It concludes with supporting students in acquiring a repertoire of strategies to assess and take risks so that they can develop a sense of self that is grounded in realistic optimism. This will empower them to set realistic goals which leads to feeling success which in turn builds realistic optimism.

 

* use age as a guide, not a rule. As with all things developmental, it will happen differently for different people.


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